I’m sorry that you’ve been the responsible one taking care of all the sick members of your family. I suggest you contact your father’s dialysis clinic and tell them about his cognitive changes and how that’s affecting his ability to connect/disconnect correctly. It sounds like an assessment of his health and mental status is needed to determine whether he’s getting enough dialysis (kidney failure and poor dialysis contribute to memory problems, whether he could be experiencing side effects of a medication, or something else.
I’d also suggest that you ask the clinic to evaluate how well he’s doing his connections/disconnections. He may need some retraining. Medicare will pay for retraining a patient who has had a change like this or will train a new helper. Medicare won’t pay for the home helper, but it might be worth checking to see if he has or qualifies for any other insurance (long-term care, commercial, or even Medicaid) that might cover the helper. Does he have room for a roommate who could get a break on rent for helping with dialysis after going through training? This could be a great opportunity for someone in school studying for a job in healthcare. It would take some time to screen the person to make sure he/she is responsible.
Finally, sometimes home dialysis is not feasible if PD isn’t working well enough or he can’t do it safely. It may be time to look into the option of in-center hemodialysis.