You’re thinking about “On Death and Dying” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Here is a list of resources from Medicare on end of life care that includes websites, books, a glossary, and websites with frequently asked questions/answers: http://www.cms.hhs.gov/MLNProducts/downloads/Hospice-Resources.pdf
Toward the end of someone’s life, a hospice nurse comes in and out to monitor the patient’s status and to provide care the family can’t provide. I believe they teach family how to do what the family can do. I am sure that their staff would respect patient’s and family’s wishes so far as to how often to come and how long to stay.
Thank you, Beth. This resource list has the type info I am looking for. As I said, I’ve heard only positive things about Hospice, but I would want to become educated on how Hospice would work with us well in advance of our loved ones final moments, as otherwise, I could see it becoming hectic. I can imagine that familes call Hospice at the last minute, when if they had become aquainted sooner everything would go even smoother. In our family, our parents generation didn’t talk much about end of life issues. It seems to us grown kids that we ought to have a plan for same well ahead of time.
I suspect you’re right. In our culture, we don’t talk very easily about death and many people seem to ignore that it’s going to happen to all of us sometime. We probably all could do a better job of preparing for death and making an arrangements we can to make our loved ones’ lives easier when they’re left not only with the emotions that a death brings, but with all the tasks that need to be done following a death that we might have done ahead of time.
I also watched my father die from kidney failure. He did not seem to be in pain, but the change in him was painful to us. He became very uncommunicative - my father, the consummate communicator - especially with us who were connected to him. If someone else came whom he hadn’t seen for a while, he would perk up. But if they came back, they would get the silent treatment as well. He started hating to eat anything. At one point we were just giving him applesauce, and then even that he would not eat. It was hard watching him die. And this was because they do not put ‘old’ people on dialysis in my country. Apart from kidney failure, my dad was a young, active 88 year old who had stopped driving himself (forced by us, his kids) just a year or two before.
I am now on dialysis (just completed my first year) and whenever I ask my nephrologist how long I could go without dialysis, he refuses to answer. I don’t want to try, but in this world, one never knows. I always feel that if there are widespread hostilities in this world, those of us who are on machines will be the first casualties.
The longest I have gone without dialysis is about 4 days, with strict diet…basicly just crackers and a little water or apple/cranberry juice…by the fourth day I felt quite bad…weak and overloaded with fluid…this was done several years ago as a persnnal research experiment, but really it’s a dangerous thing to do and shouldn’t be done…people I’ve known who lost their kidneys and refused treatment passed in 9 days!..but these were people who never started in-center dialysis. As for people who were already in-center it varies really…it can be anywhere from 7-10 days…all dependent on what is beeing consumed…
Once again, don’t try this or think about it, its something that not just affects the patient but all of us as well!
On the contrary, death/dying is part of all of us and it is important to plan ahead. One must prepare advance directives, wills, and burial plots…things that you must leave prepared so that those who have known you know what to do and how to do it…