Well, hello all. Long-time lurker - first time poster.
First thank you all for your support. I never expected in my lifetime to be a “cause”. My current situation is indeed polarizing, but there is a solution. I have found a center in NY State that is willing (preliminarily) to take me. Hopefully this will only be a short minor inconvenience, as I have been on the UNOS list since June 2005, and eventually (fingers crossed) I’ll get a kidney.
The subject of solo dialysis has many pros and cons, and is a battle to be fought on an individual basis. Just as medicine should be practiced on an individual basis. Each person’s situation needs to individually evaluated. Mine is an issue of education. Nephrologists and Dialysis units need to be better educated. Based on the events of the past few weeks, I have been forced to form some very solid opinions on the business of dialysis, and I am lucky that Bill Peckham has given me a forum in which I can be heard.
Personally, this has been a devastating turn of events, and being dumped did something to me that a chronic illness never could. My trust was violated. I was blindly living my life, happy at home, work and at play, and one day it was all over. I was a solo pariah, the attitude of each interaction that I had with DaVita Columbia (the new unit) was that I was an outlaw, and I needed to come in-center for my own good. My reaction was swift and vocal - I forced their hand, and I became the aggressor.
Every physical accomplishment that I have attained in the past 10 months was taken away. My work suffered, I became depressed, and I have never in my life felt so alone. And I took a very public stance on a very personal matter. What 42 year old woman wants to publicly announce that she has failed in the relationship department? (I am not single by choice - the unfortunate truth is that no one is lining up on my doorstep looking for a relationship). That just adds insult to injury.
And Rich, thanks for being so quick to raise the flag. It softens the disappointment that I felt last year when I was rejected when trying to join the NxStage User’s group.
I am going home to London this week for a planned vacation that couldn’t come at a better time - also a vacation that I could never take when I was in center. When I come back, I hope to spend some time at my new center, pass any exams that they require, and then I hope to be back home in my little apartment, back to my job, and back to a quiet life.
Thank you all again, your posts have been a great resource to me in the past and a great comfort to me in the present.