Social situations

Hi all - I am a social worker at a clinic with a quick question… thought you could help me get some good information for a patient…

I have a wonderful new patient who has started CAPD - she has come to me feeling as though her friends are “afraid” of her or her treatments - She feels that she is not able to be as socialy active as she use to be, due to this uncomfortableness her friends seem to have.

Do you know of any good articles or information I could give her that would explain where she is, and how important the support of her social network continues to be - she is a wonderful woman, and she is excited to get back to her social life and network of friends.

Any ideas would be very helpful for her, (and I).

Thank you!

Hi Unregistered,

You might try the Coping module of Kidney School ( to help your patient herself. She can go through the module “live” on-line, or if she doesn’t have computer access, you could print the pdf for her.

As far as dealing with uncomfortable friends, I’m not sure–but hopefully some others who post here will be able to share their experiences.

Actions speak louder than words - in other words, invite a few “close friends” out to dinner, movie, or other activity she’d be comfortable with and let them see how you interact. Say something in the invite like: “I know it’s been awhile since we’ve gotten together and I’ve really missed you, now that I’m feeling more like my old self, I was wondering if we couldn’t get together again for…” once they see you are the same person they’ve come to love, they will be more likely to come around.

Also, if you are up to it, a small dinner party might work…when I was on CAPD, I invited my closest friends over for dinner - then while everyone was relaxing I announced I had to set up my machine for the evening, and any one who’d like to see it was more than welcome to go with me. They ALL followed and soon began asking questions, about the machine, what it did, how long it took, etc. (If you do this while you are actually setting the machine up, be certain to provide ALL with Germ-X and face masks - and advise them not to touch anything.)

You must remember, everyone fears the unknown. I’m sure you had fears yourself when you first learned of your renal failure, and most people don’t know how to “cope” with a major illness - so SHOW/TELL them you are doing better and miss their friendship.

Also - PEOPLE LIKE US magazine is a good place to get encouragement from others - CJ R-TX a perfect 6/6 match!!

Thank you all for your info :slight_smile: Got registered so I can ask more questions when they arrise! Seems like a great group here with lots of great info (for me an my patients!)

Your friend should get a copy of “That Damn Dialysis” by Cindy Barclay it is a must read.