I'm sorry that I missed your post until now. It is very common for someone whose kidneys fail, including those whose transplant fails, to be upset. Unfortunately when they become upset, they often take it out on the ones they're closest to and that they trust the most. Although women cry when they're depressed, men often express depression as anger. I'd make sure the doctor and social worker at his dialysis clinic know how he's reacting so they can assess him for depression and make a plan with him to address how he's feeling. It can help patients to talk with the social worker at their clinic. Some even choose to see counselors outside the clinic. He and you need to understand that it's not a sign of weakness to seek help at a time like this. Sometimes men are more willing to seek this kind of help if their spouse goes with them plus getting help with your relationship and how you're communicating can help both of you. You and your husband may want to read the module on Coping on Kidney School. The Coping module is only one of 16 modules that were written for patients and their loved ones. Here's the link to that module:
You say that he's upset because he can't spend money like he did before. Was he working before? Does he want to work now? Sometimes people on dialysis believe they can't work, but a good number of patients do work full or part-time. Encourage him to talk with his doctor and social worker about his work history and goals. You don't say what kind of dialysis he is doing now, but patients who do home dialysis (peritoneal dialysis or hemodialysis) often feel better, have fewer diet and fluid limits, and have more time and energy to do things they enjoy doing, including work. Check out the 5 Types of Home Dialysis. There's a chart that would help him consider what is important to him by looking at pros and cons of different treatment types. Also, Kidney School has a module on treatment options.
http://www.homedialysis.org/learn/types/ (5 Types of Home Dialysis)
http://www.kidneyschool.org/m02/ (Treatment Options)
If your husband receives Social Security disability benefits, there are work incentives he could use to get back to work without risking his benefits right away. You can read about these in the "Red Book" at this site:
Your husband is only 55 and has the potential to live a long time and a good life in spite of having kidney disease. It's important that his quality of life is as good as it can be. He may be able to do a treatment that fits better for him. He may even get another transplant. Patients who have done well and lived a long time on dialysis have told us the key things they found that helped them included learning as much as they could, taking an active role in their treatment, and working to maintain as positive an attitude as they could. Hopefully what they learned will help you and him.